Time to move on.

December 14, 2009 at 2:49 am Leave a comment

It’s impossible to make long-term plans and/or have expectations and then expect everything to work out exactly as you hoped it would.

Things are always changing. People are always changing. LIFE is always changing… And you just never know what to expect.

Today I stood in my backyard, just staring at everything. Physically, it’s exactly the same as last summer (apart from my new Pink Madison punching bag sitting in the corner), but mentally and emotionally, it’s completely different.

I miss last summer very much. It’s one of the best I’ve had, and I would love for this summer to be just like it. It never will be though… The people in my life who were key to making that summer what it was are either no longer a part of my life, or incredibly distant from it. It’s sad, but that’s just the way things go sometimes..

I’ve changed too. I’m a very very different girl now to what I was a year ago. I have the notes to prove it…

Almost everything about me is different, my body, my attitude, my health, my intelligence, my strength, my courage, my tolerance. So things will never be the same because of that too.

Of course, there are little things I could do to make it feel a little like last year… For example, I could listen to Guns N’ Roses, I could read SLASH and The Saga Of Guns N’ Roses, I could play tennis with friends, I could eat those delicious instant noodles in that red packet, the brand of which I forget. I could go shopping at bayfair, I could drag an inflatable raft all the way down to the heads and go fishing with a $2 shop net and some cat food, I could dance the “Nightrain” dance on mine and Emma’s special rock, I could go camping at Marae Hako and sit up on My Rock and listen to So Fine and Patience by Guns N’ Roses whilst writing lyrics of my own.

I’m so sickly nostalgic for last summer… And what do I have now? I have very few friends. The true ones, I could count on one hand. I don’t have my best friend anymore, I don’t have a particular band or person to focus on… I’m very, VERY lonely.

Sickeningly lonely.

I feel like I can’t relate to anybody anymore. Being a teenager into fitness and healthy living is the loneliest thing in the entire world. There are so few others that you can share with, no one is interested… they’re all interested in getting drunk and stoned everyday.

Oh well, I guess as the saying goes: “life is what you make of it”, I’m just gonna have to pick myself up and make the best of what I’ve got.

I’m sure I’ll end up enjoying this summer too 🙂 I’m going to Dad’s house in two days, thank GOD. Words cannot express just how badly I need a break. I just want out of this little town.

Have a good night.



Entry filed under: life. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

Tis the season! Sing sing sing!

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Hey there, my name's Jenny. I have a huge passion for cooking/baking, writing, yoga and photography. I love nature and my favourite thing to do is spend an entire day outside, breathing in crisp, fresh air. Even better if I have a pen and paper with me. I started out running in March 2009 but sustained an injury in October 2009 which has unfortunately prevented me from running. I've been experimenting with other kinds of exercise to find another one that clicks. Follow me on my journey to maintaining good health + surviving high school and pursuing a career in Journalism. I Hope you enjoy reading my blog!

Questions? Comments? Email me at jennyeatliverun@hotmail.com

December 2009
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