I have absolutely GOT to make a change, I’m wrecking myself :(

June 16, 2010 at 11:56 pm 4 comments

What I’m about to discuss is a very very delicate and sensitive topic for me. Please keep that in mind when reading, it’s not easy for me to open this up to the public…

I am so so down in the dumps and miserable right now… I don’t know what happened to myself. For over a year I’ve been happy, healthy and body confident, but a month ago I lost all motivation and willingness to help myself and kept making excuses for my bad eating habits and lack of exercise. I blamed it on winter, but I know that if I was truly determined then the cold would not phase me.

I don’t know what to do, I haven’t hated my body so much in well over a year and I don’t know how to drag myself out of this rut. I went to the gym the other day and left feeling amazing and I know that it takes patience and persistence to start seeing changes and results, but I won’t see any results if I don’t drastically alter my diet.

I am so horrified and embarrassed to admit that I have become a junk-food junkie. I eat far, FAR too much sugar and processed foods, my skin has been breaking out, I feel lethargic and lazy and bloated. I never thought I’d become this kind of person but I’ve been sucked into this horrible black hole of junk food and laziness… It’s become too much to stop straight away.

I’ve tried to quit sugar cold turkey many times but I always fail. I’ve tried to “ween” myself off sugar, but I lose control and end up bingeing… Today I’m proud that I’ve made a conscious decision to accept responsibility for my bad habits and I managed to stop myself before I ate something I’d regret, but I really really need support right now. This is reaching a critical point for me and I don’t think anyone could truly understand just how much this is bringing me down.

If I don’t get my shit together, I see depression in my very near future.

If you have any advice, suggestions or just general support to offer, please PLEASE do not hesitate to message me. My ears and heart are always open.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Thankful for Great Opportunities The Abuser- Creative Writing

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Emma  |  June 17, 2010 at 6:47 am

    Go for a run. Then your body will be like OH MY GOD i need to stop eating this siht. If you see the damage done in that way it might be easier to stop 🙂

  • 2. teachernz  |  June 17, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    That fact that you’re talking and thinking about this is a sign that you’re ready to take control. Do it.

  • 3. Jen  |  June 17, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    Hey, i’ve been reading some of your blogs lately, and you have been inspiring to me. Im 17 in 7th form and last year i was very body confident also, however this year due to comfort eating as my sister left and moved away i gained a whopping 10 kgs!!! But in the last couple of months i hired a personal trainer and have lost 2.5kg and 12cm, and im no where near as fit as you, it seems as though you realise there is need for change and maybe today is a great day to start?? Love to hear back from you, im off to the gym bye xx

  • 4. Michael  |  June 17, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    Well every time you feel the urge to eat junk food, package it up and send it to me. I will know how to dispose of it safely okay? See you in a couple of weeks right? I will buy you fruit and healthy food 🙂 By the way, you always look perfect so maybe you should get rid of your mirror. Love you 🙂


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Hey there, my name's Jenny. I have a huge passion for cooking/baking, writing, yoga and photography. I love nature and my favourite thing to do is spend an entire day outside, breathing in crisp, fresh air. Even better if I have a pen and paper with me. I started out running in March 2009 but sustained an injury in October 2009 which has unfortunately prevented me from running. I've been experimenting with other kinds of exercise to find another one that clicks. Follow me on my journey to maintaining good health + surviving high school and pursuing a career in Journalism. I Hope you enjoy reading my blog!

Questions? Comments? Email me at jennyeatliverun@hotmail.com

June 2010
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